If you come to this page through the heartbreak of losing a child then I warmly embrace you and sincerely pray that here you may find an oasis of comfort, a little rest on a very arduous and painful journey. I firmly believe there is no greater sorrow in all the earth than that of losing a child and there is no one who can begin to comprehend the depth of grief other than another who has traveled the same road.
I am almost 21 years down this road. I don’t believe the journey ends until I am complete in Christ in eternity. I will always be Spencer’s mom; I will always miss my son. But as I turn and look back I see the incredible leading, grace and presence of the Holy Spirit through every dark forest, twisting ravine and overwhelming mountain. He has not only brought me through but He has blessed my life with His glory. This is God’s signature, His banner over me is LOVE.
These are two letters that belonged to my mother that she gave to me a couple of years after Spence died. Kina and her husband were friends of my grandparents and they had a little girl named Betty my mother’s age. In the 1930’s Betty was hit by a car in front of their home and died at the age of six. She would be their only child and her husband, Odell died later at a fairly young age. When my brother Timmy died in 1964 Kina wrote my mother these two letters. They are beautiful. I never met this woman but I’m sure she is rejoicing in God’s presence with Odell and Betty. Her wisdom and perspective through a trial of great sorrow mirror the loving grace of Christ Jesus in a broken heart.
A seventeenth century Scottish preacher who spent much time in prison and also lost two of his own children. I am still so moved by this excerpt from a letter to a grieving mother. His perspective is “heavenly minded”. That’s a good place to live.
I read this poem the day Spence died and it has stayed with me.
More wisdom from Amy Carmichael
Poem (or was it a rap?) I found written by Spence. Awesome! I corrected his spelling.
Poem I wrote in January 2003, one year after Spencer’s death
and some of God’s Word that helped me most.